Epilogue: Doktor Meetslab
The good Doktor hefted the huge, heavy crate on the ground and popped it open with casual ease. A cacophony of motes danced above the surface of the sea of metallic black plates contained within. He picked one up, holding it up to his eye to observe the relatively small imperfections on the surface. He looked at what he had accepted as his new spelljammer, Whalord was half covered in black scales, and would be completely covered in a week.
Meetslab focused for a bit, causing the layer of fake skin to liquefy and retreat into ports on his body and seal up, revealing his pitch black robotic body. It was everything he could've hoped for and more, to say that Igneous had outdone himself would be a vast understatement, he had lost virtually nothing in the transition, retaining his sense of touch, taste and smell, and gained the ability to look like either his old self or a Darksteel humanoid according to his whimsy.
It was everything he ever wanted, but...
At some point it stopped being his. Igneous had made the creation of Darksteel much more attainable for everyone, and getting in the way of that to feel special would be the height of foolishness.
Doktor shook his head, he was missing something, it was just a matter of figuring out what.
Captain's log, day 336
I have accelerated my studies. Igneous's time has become too valuable to waste so I found different tutors. I have been learning magic, namely Transmutation and Abjuration. I was recommended Conjuration over Transmutation, but I refused, the answer is there, I know it.
Captain's log day 338
Frank Earnest came over today, and invited him over to talk. We discussed plans for retaking Cadia, but they were all hollow speculation as none of us had recent data on the state of the old space station. We both agreed that recon had to be done at some point.
Captain's log day 341
I have learned Swift Change and Dedication. They're both moderately useful, I guess. Changing in and out of Power Armor or Warstrider in a second was a neat party trick if nothing else.
Captain's log day 344
Maximillian called, we responded. He got much more then he asked for. Retaking Vanguard was easy. I tentatively prodded him about retaking Cadia. Ok, well I made Samuel do it, he was better at selling the idea to him. He response was non-comital, while he thanked us for the help he didn't think our assistance would be nearly enough for such a monumental task. What could we do? We left.
Captain's log day 345
I'm not happy. Nero telling us we weren't good enough bothers me. I'll show him.
Captain's log, day 347
I've decided on the Magic Fang spell, a classic among Druids. With it I could enhance my Chainfist and Blinky's bite to bypass armor. Useful, yet still not quite what I need. I'm getting close though.
Captain's log, day 352
I've been reclusive lately, I never get tired or feel discomfort or get hungry or thirsty or need to use the bathroom. When Dewey knocked on my door I was annoyed at being interrupted, or at least I was until he nervously informed me that I had spent a full 67 hours studying non stop. I thought he was making a joke, but it was true. Apparently my crew had taken my "do not interrupt" sign very seriously and only Dewey had been brave enough to ignore that.
Captain's log, day 353
I threw away the sign out of embarrassment and Put a Chrono with an alarm in my room. Still, I have made good progress and invented a combination hastening and lightening spell. I'm close to a breakthrough... I just need Igneous to make a couple of modifications to myself and Whalord, if I'm right about this...
Dewey looked worriedly at the hollow look on his captain's face, in his hand he clutched a bag of holding filled to the brim with silver dust. "Uh, um, cap'n?"
"Yes Dewey?"
"What's the uh, what's the silver dust for?"
"Dedication."
"That's a lot of silver dust..."
"Yes."
They both stared awkwardly for a second. Dewey stole a nervous glance at his mustache and broke the silence first. "So what're you going to do with Dedication?"
"I have had an idea." At that proclamation a chill went up his spine and was filled with a nameless fear.
"Cap'n?"
"Vacate the ship, I need time."
Captain's log, day 360
I can be a dragon.
Commodore's log, day 1
I HAVE LEARNED MANY INTERESTING THINGS
Dewey glanced nervously at the data slate, sitting unused on his Commodore's desk, the latest entry was worrying, and he briefly wondered if Meetslab wrote all of his entries in all caps. Every wall was covered in notes and scribbles, the mattress had been flipped over to make more space and at the center of it all there was a diagram that looked an awful lot like a dragon.
"Dewey! To the bridge." Commanded his Commodore.
Meetslab had found spells that transformed his body, all of them had the limitation of his armor and equipment wouldn't be transformed with him. Dedication helped, by making your armor and equipment part of you, but there were limits.
Dewey stood at attention on the modified bridge. "Relax Dewey."
He did so and look around, the bridge had no windows, no way to see outside except for a screen that was only to be used when the other systems in the room were down.
"Dok?"
"Dewey," said Meetslab as he walked over, his heavy hand clasping the pauldron of his second in command's power armor. "Today we make history."
Who are you anyway? What makes you, you? How does a transformation spell distinguish between your clothes and cells, stomach acid, gut bacteria, dead skin cells, hair...
If Meetslab had asked anyone this question, it would turn into some sort of philosophical debate about the nature of self and all that nonsense.
Meetslab wasn't asking anyone this question. Meetslab was asking Igneous, and either fortunately or unfortunately for the Wheel, the mutated goblin had an actual answer.
"Dewey, I'm afraid I have no more use for you on my vessel."
Dewey's mind shut down, his hands fell limply to his sides.
Before he could recover: "Do you remember the BATNA?"
"Yes..."
"It's yours."
"What?"
Doktor Meetslab placed his hat on Dewey's head. "You are hereby promoted to Captain." He pulled up a hologram of the fleet, pointing out where the BATNA was. "The crew has already been informed, take the shuttle, we're leaving soon."
"Aye Aye!"
Meetslab saluted his crew member, "Congratulations."
After Dewey left he faced the console once more, poked it a couple of times to activate the ansible, bringing up the faces of Nero, Sleepy Pete, Kork the Chief Ork from Acheron, Frank Earnest, and Felicity. Together ready to finally retake Cadia.
"My friends, it is time. Today we make history. Connect me to the rest of the fleet, I think it's time I made a speech."
Frank gave him the go ahead.
"The Wheel is unfair. It has always been unfair, it has treated its inhabitants like dirt, it has kicked us down, it has subjected us to unspeakable torment..."
Tim stabbed a carved cube of dragon meat and roasted it over the tiny fire. He had been regaling the newbies with the tale of how he fought the ferocious dragon queen, but had stopped at the sound at the voice of his battle comrade Meetslab emanating from the comm-bead artifact that lay next to the bag
"...and yet, here we stand! Unbroken!"
The mice cheered.
Michael walked at a sedate pace, accompanied by his battle brothers and sisters, wading through the mass of abominations with contemptuous ease. Each of the Paladins that flanked him swung their noisy chain weapons, carving through the horde and thinning it out without breaking a sweat. Their every blow was enhanced by the armor of power they had been gifted. The foul Undead were almost entirely unable to deal any kind of damage in response, clawing uselessly against the thick plate. When they felt overwhelmed, the back line archers retaliated with weapons that fired beams of light, easily carving even further through the horde.
Michael shook his head, he didn't know why he was here, he clearly wasn't needed, he had insisted on carrying the bag of holding, and was carrying spare supplies and ammunition to feed the archers. He was shown bits and pieces of the epic war Meetslab was about to embark in, but it quickly became clear that he would be unable to meaningfully contribute. He apologized and returned home.
He hung back to escape the noisy chain weapons and the flashes of light so he could better hear the speech coming out of this... 'radio'."
"This world will not give us what we want, and if it won't? Then we will take it from it!"
Michael nodded approvingly.
Two radical monks stared at each other in their hut, covered wall to wall in totes awesome champ pics.
They were like, just chillin' when one was all like, "Dude."
And so the other was like "Dude?"
So the other was totally exasperated and was all "Duuuuuude..."
So he's all rolling his eyes and like: "Dude!"
But, like, the other doesn't get it right? And is so, like: "Dude, dude, dude."
Then the other does a Grave Nod. "Dude."
And then the radio next to the holdin' sack is all: "People will make the Wheel fair! We will piece through the darkness, we will burn through the hatred, we will make the world a better place!"
The two monks made finger guns at the radio.
Meetslab swept his gaze around to his fellow commodores. "Let us patch a hole in the darkness. Let us retake Cadia!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
They shut off their connections, he tapped the console one last time before it retreated into a compartment in the floor, activating Igneous' final gift.
The semi-spherical room came to life, needles protruded out of the center of the circles on the surface of the spheres. The circles themselves followed suit, extending into long tendrils that whipped dangerously, each tipped with a needle. Meetslab opened ports all over his body, and in quick succession each of them shot unerringly into ports until he was covered head to toe in the wires. He looked up as the system initialized.
His old boss was still there, staring impassively. "Y'know, if it weren't for that bathroom, none of this would've happened. I think the Wheel owes that bathroom a debt of gratitude.
Meetslab hummed non-committally "Are you ready?"
Pete snorted. "Of course, are you?"
A robotic female voice chimed in: "Platonic Bridge initialized."
His consciousness expanded, he could feel the world around Whalord in that odd way that it perceives thing. He made his Ork body respond with a cheeky grin. "I didn't make twenty-one thousand and forty two castings of Dedication to not be ready, lets give them hell."
"Aye aye, commodore."
Pete disconnected and Doktor Meetslab cast his spell.
Those in the close vicinity of the S.S. Whalord witnessed an incredible transformation take place. They stared unbelievably as the whale shuddered and changed shape, its fins extending and growing claws, it's face shrinking and protruding outwards into a head perched on a long neck, giant leathery wings shot out of the back, the tail fin extending into a sharp tail. Just as it seemed to be done, that is when it doubled in size along every dimension.
The Destroyer sized dragon roared, and it's Waaaagh! cry was felt by every mind in a thousand Void Units.
That is how the story of Commodore Doctor Doktor "Dragonjammer" Meetslab begun.